Ask Andrea

I recently had the opportunity to read Rain Dance by Joy DeKok, a re-release of her 2006 novel , this time from Sheaf House. I have to say, I like the revised edition’s cover much better:

First off all, if you don’t like books that you need a box of Kleenex near by to read, you might want to stop reading now, because I sobbed like a baby. Of course, I’m in much the same shoes as Jonica, who the author admits in an afterward is based upon her own struggles with infertility and shockingly rude people who make me feel either grateful for my church or paranoid I’m being gossiped about too and just haven’t overheard it, depending on my mood at the moment.

She adds a novel’s worth of conflict to the drama with Stacie, the daughter of a Senator in the mold of Hilary Clinton who discovers the hard way who the real closed minded people are when she falls for the lie that abortion is a quick and easy way to get rid of a little “problem” and make sure her career goals stay on track. The author shows her struggle with post abortion syndome and fears over her increased risk of breast cancer (it also runs in her family) in a way that allows readers to understand the issue from a human perspective.

I like the way she portayed post abortion syndrome especially. It reminds us abortion effectively induces a miscarriage and we all know the devestating effects a miscarriage has on a woman, how she misses the child, she may even fret over whether she  unwittingly did something to hurt the baby. Why are we so surprised, shocked, even scandalized that intentionally inflicting a misscarriage on yourself can wreak similar emotional devastation? We forget the woman’s reproductive system isn’t on the same page as her career goals, is actively working against conscious mind, and did want that child. This is a tragic realization that comes to late for many, and they need loving souls like Jonica, and the author, to bring that pain to the surface, to grieve, and  ultimately find healing in Christ.

I am a little puzzeled at her preaching for the need to make post-abortive women feel welcome in the prolife movement (if I understood what she was getting at) as in Boise, ID, we have several pro-life activists who had abortions, they’re the most passionate and ardent ones, in fact, and I’ve never seen any of them shown anything but grace and mercy. The Church itself might be another thing. I haven’t heard too many admit that sin at the altar, so to speak, and the Church does need to come into way better balance on hot button issues, as we’ve lost many a Christian struggling with homosexuality to the enemy because they were too ashamed to ask for help.

Stylistically, the author chose to tell the story in dual first person, from both Stacie and Jonica’s view, and knowing her attachment to Jonica, and that Stacie needed to be a view point character, that close intmacy with both of them was warranted. However, she had a hard time dealing with the urge to show scenes from both point of view, and this resulted in several scenes being showed twice, with telling over the portions that we’d already seen, or simply summarizing the other person’s view, and we lose some of the immediacy we gained there and some of these passages get a tad dull, but she still manages to connect with her reader’s on a human level.

I tend to agree with previous reviewers, Stacie’s side in particular makes this book a good ministry tool to reach out to women going through that agony. Infertile women will get that good “I’m not alone, and I didn’t do anything to deserve this!” feeling after she raises the question in the first place.

The poor thing recieves a “prophecy” that if she repents of some unstated sin, she’ll be blessed with children, and that last part is theologically accurate, children are a blessing from the Lord. Unfortunately, scripture hints, in specific circumstances that only God may be able to forsee,  infertility is also a blessing, though I would prefer to exchange it for the latter blessing myself.

Interestingly, I didn’t react with the anger Joy, er, Jonica felt, but rather with, “Tell me what I’ve done, Lord, so I can repent of it!” (This reader identified perhaps too much.) It’s a whole lot easier to lift a curse caused by sin than it is to live with infertility God’s allowed for specific, usually ministry-related reasons which He may or may not decide to share with us. That’s why good people fall into the same mentality as Job’s friends in the first place.

Truthfully, I’d be a lot more concerned about the soul of someone who voiced their own personal opinion and decided to give it more authority by saying, “thus says the Lord” when the Lord has not thus said. In old testament times, the penalty for prophesying falsely even once was death. Even with grace, I like to naively think no one would dare risk the Lord’s wrath in that manner, but I’ve lived long enough to know better. Thankfully, God does forgive us, all of us, when we are truly sorry and turn from our sin. Even if it’s abortion. Even if she did have a hard time with showing both sides without resorting to telling or repeating scenes twice, Joy DeKok does a wonderful job of conveying that timeless and timely message without being overly preachy. She likewise develops the friendship between Stacie and Jonica in a believeable way that does a good job of showing how Jonica’s love and compassion for Stacie’s loss, without agreeing with Stacie’s decision, draws her to the Lord without making the reader feel overly lectured on how to be a good witness.

Readers particularly sensitive to books with a message might disagree with me on the preachiness level, given my perchant for message-oriented fiction, but if you like books that make you sob like a baby (I did, anyway) you’ll love this.

Popularity: 3%

Dear Andrea,
I feel like such a hypocrite. I’m a 30-year-old mother of two. Never very religious except for a vague belief in God. Family and exercise are my passions. A few days ago I was robbed at home by a pair of intruders. I was unhurt but left very tightly bound and gagged, face down and hogtied, in a closet. I struggled for awhile but soon realized I’d have to wait there for three hours until my husband and children returned. I’ve always been a very competent person and being all tied up was a blow to my pride and my dignity. (As they were tying me up fear was replaced by an overwhelming feeling of embarrassment). At some point I began to pray, mostly for strength. Emotional strength. I gradually felt a serenity and was able to relax. Though my arms and legs were bound I felt very free. When my family finally arrived and untied me I made them promise that we’d all regularly attend church, but I can’t help feeling that all my life I ignored God, then ran to Him when I got into trouble. Will He see me as just another hypocrite? I still feel all

–Tied Up

Dear Tied Up,

First, I praise God that you weren’t hurt! Home owners have been shot and killed in home invasions, though what you’ve been through is certainly horrendous in and of itself. And you are far from alone in your experience. Often times, those who draw near to the Lord for the first time as an adult will do so in a time of crisis. However, the sad statistic is that most who do so forget the Lord when things get better again and tuck the Lord away in a nice box in the closet until the next crisis, in which they again draw near to him just long enough to get through it. Does this make them hypocrites?

What it makes them is self-centered people who try to use the Lord when he’s convenient and toss him aside again when he’s not.  One might consider that hypocrisy or not, but either way it’s a destructive  behavior pattern that will land them in Hell if they don’t turn from it. But I should add this character flaw is deemed a virtue when it’s candy coated with pyscho-babble, so most of us struggle in this area to one degree or another. If we fall down, God is gracious to forgive and pick us back up again.

Now, hypocrite comes from the Latin hypocrita, which was, literally, a stage actor. Thus a hypocrite is someone who pretends to be something she’s not.

Far as I can see, you’re not pretending to be something you’re not; you’re a young woman who went through a horrendous experience and in that  moment of desperation turned to the Lord and discovered His love and comfort, and a freedom that indeed transcends physical bounds, amen!

The natural inclination of someone who doesn’t intend to throw God back on the shelf until the next time is to want to share this exciting feeling with your loved ones. Hence your family finds the woman who just days ago  couldn’t care less about God twisting their arms into going to church

While such sudden changes can confuse your family and get you accused of hypocrisy, that is mainly a lie from the devil to keep you from pursing the freedom the Lord is offering you, hon. He wants you to put God back on the shelf until the next time He proves convenient, not start going to church and accept Christ as your Lord and Savior. Though what the devil fears most is that you’ll then get so excited, you’ll go around sharing your testimony of how the Lord got your attention while bound in a closet and inspiring others to draw close to the Lord as well. So that voice whispering you’re a hypocrite is trying to use shame to deceive you into doing what he’s accusing you of.

The truth is, oftentimes, the reason God allows these things to happen in the first place is to get our attention. If this was God’s way of getting your attention, why in the world would He accuse you of being a hypocrite for giving it to Him? The Lord wants to be a significant part of your life, Tied Up. He wants you to turn  to Him and rely upon and trust in Him. He wants you to to choose to serve Him. By nature, we’re sold to sin and the devil, and the penalty is death and eternity separated from God.  Christ came and died in our place to set us free from sin’s bondage so we could be reconciled to Him.

By the way, the top reason the Church is often accused of hypocrisy today is that too many Christians misunderstand what it means to be set free from the law of sin and death, thus remain in bondage to sin and mistakenly call it liberty. But you can silence the devil’s accusations against you by asking the Lord to forgive you for all the times you’ve ignored Him in the past and remaining in relationship with Him even when things are going well. And if you sinecrely mean it, the Lord won’t hesitate to forgive. He loves you, Tied Up. He wants you to be reconciled to Him. If you’re going to stick to it, don’t be ashamed of the circumstances that brought you to Him, shout it out loud!

In Christ’s Love,
Andrea Graham

Popularity: 1%

In this 200 page Christian living title from waterbrook press, Joni Lamb, Vice President of Christian television’s Daystar Network, takes a half a cup of scripture, a tablespoon of a classic hymn, and three cups of anecdotes, bakes it at 350 degrees, and produces Surrender All: Your Answer to Living with Peace, Power, and Purpose

Seriously, quick, concise and thought provoking, Surrender All conveys a central point of the Christian faith that is often missed by Christians engulfed in a self-worshiping culture that demands we be independent and in control at all times rather than God-dependent followers of Christ who take up the cross and die to self. And let me be honest: I live here, too. I can personally attest there’s plenty here to challenge as well as inspire, though Lamb would have been wise to acknowledge more that she also lives here. But our culture comes with a pressure for would-be role models to pretend perfection, so that much is to be expected.

Speaking of which, my usual concerns. I would have liked to see this totally biblical concept grounded more in scripture. Meaning, she missed an opportunity to build a case for surrender from the scriptures. We do get taken to the garden of Gethsemane, but very late in the book. It is there, I just would have liked to see a deeper exploration of the words of scripture on this subject. This may shock some, but there’s no anecdote as powerful as the living word. At least I don’t think any of us would claim to have a story we could tell that’s as sharp as a two edged sword to divide bone and marrow.

Likewise, she pulled her punches a tad too much on issues like divorce and homosexuality  and, in an attempt to be compassionate, sent what to me sounded like mixed messages. On women’s roles, especially in terms of career, she clearly sees the pain and confusion we all suffer from in our culture, but like most of us, in unguarded moments, doesn’t appear to realize what most women really want–and if you’d like to know what I think it is, feel free to ask.

Finally, I’m concerned about at least one of the anecdotes being dangerous if misunderstood. She’s clear earlier being surrendered means following the Holy Spirit’s guidance in such situations, but there’s a reason counselors are loathe to tell abuse victims to actually reconcile with the perpetrator and even discourage it. In my opinion, only God has the right to tell someone to put themselves back in a situation where they are almost certainly going to be in physical, spiritual, and/or psychological peril, which the Lord did in one anecdote in the book, which could be taken as an example for all to follow rather than an example of being obedient even when the Lord’s instructions defy all common sense, as they often do.

So in terms of dealing with “hard cases” the book suffers somewhat from disorganization, the rather common lack of a “been there” feel that makes it sound like the authors don’t know what they’re talking about even if they objectively do, and the even more common lack of the ink space the subject really requires. So, if you’re seriously wounded and hurting, I’d address that before tackling this book.

However, save for the last group, who may ironically feel a little like Job did when his friends offered their well-meaning advice if they read this, none of the human flaws takes away from the divine wisdom she does convey and well. Surrender, taking up our cross and following Him, dying to self, being obedient, whatever one calls it, bowing to Christ’s lordship is a critical area most Christians are struggling in today and it’s one that separates us from the Lord–and sadly this could be a permanent condition if never mastered. A chilling thought as we all have times we struggle there, but scripture doesn’t leave much wiggle room. We can’t serve two masters. A routine habit of living for self, of being the one calling the shots of our lives, is a soul killer.

We all want Heaven.  Upwards of 80% of Americans in particular want Jesus as our Savior. But do we really want him as Lord? That’s the question that matters for eternity.

Too many in church on Sundays are just trying to use the Lord:  happy to accept his sacrifice, eager to embrace him as a friend and a brother even, but reluctant, or outright refusing, to accept Him as Lord. When we reconcile without repentance, we perpetuate the lie they can get away with it, too. We’re the bible they believe, and the way we forgive is the way they expect God forgives–with deadly pathologies on both sides of the coin, for certain. Only the Lord can balance us properly.

Regardless, Joni Lamb’s handling of this issue makes this a good book to give to that someone we all know who hasn’t made the all-important decision to Surrender All yet. Or if we’re needing a refresher.

Popularity: 31%