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Body Upgrades Available

  • Posted on December 7, 2011 at 6:58 pm

If someone was selling a body upgrade, would you be interested?

Psst. I know a guy who’s offering them, he happens to be the guy who programmed the actual reality that we live in, including us natural intelligences he has designed to be sentient and have personalities and feelings and creative abilities and, well, to be alive like he is. He made the original pair of natural intelligences as administrators who report to him. An ex-employee fired for being uppity abused the way he designed us, convincing our ancestors to download a bunch of junk that corrupted both of our parent programs, causing their bodies to break down and them to not function as originally designed, and we inherit this corruption from them. We’re so important in actual reality, because of this, our whole actual reality is slowly descending into a serious meltdown. So the programmer has started work on an upgrade, which he promises to release as soon as he’s satisfied everyone has had a chance to hear the news and agree to take part in the upgrade and be transferred over.

Actual Reality’s programmer has not told us much about what exactly our new bodies will look like, but he provided a sneak preview, having already upgraded his only son, and no one tries anything on their own beloved kid that isn’t safe. Plus this guy has made full disclosure about himself, so a few things we can know about his new product, based on who he is and what we know about his current product (and what he has identified as being the junk):

 

• Your new body will be absolutely flawless, perfectly fashioned in every way.

• It will never break down. It will never grow old, it will never waste away, it will never cease working and turn to dust.

• Your new body will probably have the same basic DNA as your current DNA, which partially defines you who you are. Your new body will probably come loaded with the data you’ve saved to your current body, including the nervous system and muscular-skeletal systems, but likely your customizations to your actual reality outward appearance will be nontransferable.

• All of the junk code and junk data that is corrupting you, causing you to break down and die, and preventing you from being who the programmer intended you to be will be deleted in the upgrade. The more junk you have, the less in sync you are with You 2.0.

The junk files scheduled for deletion are all in the contract. The programmer advises you to carefully read the contract and be sure you understand it before you give your consent. While you will be charged nothing for your upgrade to You 2.0 and no assembly is required, contrary to popular rumor, he does have some terms and conditions that you should be aware of:

• You will still be a natural intelligence and merely made to be like our Programmer, not an actual Programmer yourself or even the equal of our Programmer. You will not get to be your own Programmer and write your own code. Sorry. In our programmer’s reality, the ex-employee who started that rumor is a con artist running his racket from a prison cell.

• You must accept no substitutions for our Programmer, including yourself, other natural intelligences, and the programmer deniers’ illogical claims actual reality programmed and built itself using some of the junk destroying actual reality. If you die while in violation of this term of your contract with the Programmer, or dispute what constitutes junk and demand the right to hang onto yours, you will be deleted with your junk. This will result in you remaining consciously aware in our Programmer’s recycle bin, forever cut off from him and everyone else.

• You 2.0 will not be prone to develop any programming errors.

• You 2.0 will love and trust your programmer fully and do what he says gladly, out of a grateful heart devoted to him.

• Your new body will be heterosexual (possibly asexual, depending on how you read his contract’s terms and conditions) and the same gender as your current genetic code, your body will properly develop as your actual gender, and your new brain will be on the same page as your new body and your upgraded genetic code on what gender you are.

• Your new body won’t have mental disorders, learning disabilities, physical disabilities, ADHD, autism, depression, emotional disturbances, or addictive tendencies.

• In your new body, you will hate lying and would never steal, kill, or destroy anything. You won’t be selfish or proud or rude or easily angered. You will be truthful, loving, joyful, hopeful, peaceful, good, humble, generous, respectful, self-controlled, you won’t be prone to think evil of others, you won’t dwell on past wrongs, and you will be the sort of person who naturally places the interests of others first, and so will everyone else. You will also be loyal, dependable, responsible, stable, unafraid, single-minded, and keep all of your promises and commitments to others.

• In your new body, you will have a face to face relationship with your programmer, know him intimately, and be with him always.

• Your old body must die in this actual reality and return to dust before you will be loaded in your new body in the upgraded reality.

• The programmer gets to decide when it’s time for you to die.

• In the meantime, if you accept his contract, terms and conditions and all, as a guarantee of his promised upgrade to this new body, he connects your current one directly to him, so he can speak into your heart and breath the essence of who you will be in upgraded reality into you now. You will slowly become more like You 2.0 in this life and will hate the junk in your corrupt body and seek to be rid of it, long to be at minimum.

• If you do not experience any change in you, double check to ensure you have accepted a genuine copy of the contract. A genuine contract with the programmer includes a line on which you must declare you are acknowledging the programmer’s authority over you. Please do not bother to sign up unless you sincerely do respect the programmer’s authority over you and are willing to be upgraded however he sees fit.

• The programmer has put his son in charge of running both actual reality and upgraded reality. To be upgraded and have a relationship with the Programmer, we must have a relationship with his son, a legit natural intelligence like us, only uncorrupted and is also an actual reality exact representation of his Father. The son was instrumental in the original programming of actual reality and only the son is holding it together. Oh yeah, in order to pay the costs for this upgrade and make it all possible, the programmer’s son, who is known as Jesus Christ in English, also gave his actual reality life on a Roman cross, roughly 2,000 years ago in actual reality time, and rose again the third day.


Continue reading Body Upgrades Available »

What I am Thankful For

  • Posted on November 25, 2011 at 3:24 pm

This year, I am thankful for something quite odd in today’s culture. I am thankful for a God who is, without apology, jealous and controlling.

Yes, I am thankful for a God who demands absolute loyalty and obedience from his servants and children, a God who is intolerant of anyone seeking to rival him in his glory, especially in terms of power over others, or even over ourselves.  I am thankful for a God who is a perfectionist in the extreme, allowing not the slightest spot, blemish, wrinkle, or stain into his spiritual presence in Heaven.

I am thankful for a God who has decreed a death penalty for any and all infractions of his law without exception, who cannot be moved to change his mind and change the rules based upon an emotional appeal to hard circumstances, but always carries out his decrees. I am thankful for an obstinate God who never changes his ways, never changes who he is and what he believes, never waivers on what he hates and what he loves, for any reason.

I am thankful because this God is just, reliable, trustworthy, and dependable, powerful enough and willing to protect us from harm and avenge us of wrongs.

I am also thankful this God looked down on a world that hates him for all of the above things that I would praise him for, saw that this world was full of everything that he hates, saw that we were hopelessly unable to ever measure up to his standards, all of us condemned to die and that our spirits, though designed to dwell in a body of flesh and to be in his presence, would be left disembodied and spiritually separated from his presence for all eternity.

I am thankful that this god so loathed by the world, so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son to pay the penalty of our sin and die in our place, so that we could be washed clean of our sin and purified in his blood. I am thankful he sent his Holy Spirit to dwell in us, so we can learn to walk in his way rather than continue to follow after the corruption of the mortal flesh we will trade one fine day for new, immortal, sinless and flawless bodies worthy to be with Him.

I am thankful that my God is both simultaneously a Just, Jealous, Holy, Unwavering, Unmovable, Unshakable, Authoritarian King of Kings and a Loving, Merciful, Good, Gracious, Patient, Gentle, Humble Savior and Redeemer.

I am thankful that the power of sin has already been defeated on the Cross and that it is only a matter of time before this long cosmic war is over and the last battle fought. I am thankful that, by grace, through faith alone,  I can stand with the Creator of the Universe in the battle against sin and overcome rather than rebel, wallow in sin, and find myself cast out with the Lawless One. I am thankful that God has begun a good work of eradicating sin and imperfection in me and that he will continue to carry out his work in me until the day of His Coming.

I am thankful even us rebels who have betrayed our Heavenly citizenship again and again, going the way of the enemy culture all around us, can always  humbly bow our knees to the King of Kings and be reconciled to him and forgiven.

Continue reading What I am Thankful For »

An Open Letter to Father God’s Rebellious Sons

  • Posted on November 22, 2011 at 10:47 am

Little children, I long to extend grace and mercy to you, but to receive it, you must humbly acknowledge you need it, as the prodigal son did. Why will you go to your grave, at odds with the Lord, to burn for all eternity in your own wrath at him for daring to tell you what to do, still insisting that he was wrong and you were right? Agree quickly with the Lord on the way to Christ’s judgment seat, why should you die in your sin when forgiveness is plentiful and free?

Look at the machines we have made. What computer program would dare say to its coder, “You have coded me wrong. I will ignore your instructions and do what is right in my own eyes”? Would it not be contemptuous, self-righteous, and arrogant of that program? Would we not judge it as being buggy and broken and in need of either repair or to be thrown away and replaced?

Yet that is what we have done and said to our Father and maker.

Who among us would say to a woman being abused that she should change who she is, deny her character and alter her personality and what she believes and loathes to please the will of a controlling person who will not love her for who she is, only what he wants her to be? Yet that is how we treat God, expecting him to change who he is or we will reject him.

Do you ask, “when have I rejected God?” By rejecting how he designed us to operate, which is but an outgrowth of and reflection of his very nature.

?”But Christ told me that he values a relationship with me more than his rules and acknowledged to me that my way was better.” Little one, that was a demon who hates you and wants to destroy you and leave you eternally at odds with God. It is written clearly, “I the Lord do not change. My ways are higher than your ways,  and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Think, child, what created thing is more knowledgeable and knows better than its creator? God’s word is eternal, it never changes and it is never void (empty and unfulfilled.) Truth is not a relative, nebulous concept that changes with the times. Truth is a person, and one of his traits is being steadfast, stable, and sure. He never changes. Jesus Christ is the Truth and he is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Look again at your machines and how quickly you would cast judgment and either bend it to your will and or destroy it, but God has been slow to wrath and patient, giving you undeserved blessings and benefits, to show you he is worthy of the trusting obedience and faith that our computers mistakenly have in us. He even sent his own son to pay the penalty for our wrongdoing and enable us to be reconciled to him and function again as he designed us to. Unlike us with our creations, our creator gives us a choice between a system-wide restoration to our original manufacturing settings, or to continue to be good only for the trash.

Let us choose then this day to not be foolish and contend with our maker, but confess our sin, humbly ask his forgiveness and, being reconciled to the Lord our God and Father in spirit and in truth, acknowledge him in all of our ways and honor him as the righteous king over all the Earth.

Continue reading An Open Letter to Father God’s Rebellious Sons »

Unity: “To be in Harmony and in Agreement”

  • Posted on November 18, 2011 at 12:23 pm

“Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.” (John 17:17)

This comes in the middle of the Lord’s prayer . . . in the garden of Gethsemane. The part most of my pastors have focused on is where he prays for unity. I’ve seen plenty of churches’ pastoral staff water down the truth and ignore doctrinal disunity in the name of unity. We seem to think being one means ‘the more the merrier!” Uh, no, it means those who are in your pews being of one mind and in one accord. We can’t have that unless everyone in the local body is functioning together, each using their individual gifts and natural abilities towards the same goals, which should include, biblically, for us all to grow to be more like Christ and worshiping him in Spirit and in Truth.

I think part of this comes from a common misunderstanding that the Church is all about making spiritual babies. No, evangelism is all about making babies, and for that Jesus sent his disciples out from where he gathered them together to teach them. Did he stop others who didn’t follow him from showing up when he sat down to teach his own? No, but he didn’t modify his message to appeal to them, he kept his focus on the spiritual babies he already had in his care to raise. In fact, he deliberately spoke in confusing parables when the crowds gathered around–exact opposite of what many churches do today.

Maybe that’s why we’re growing fat in numbers, but most of us aren’t growing up in the Lord, but rather still messing in our diapers. Brothers and sisters, on the judgment day, God’s not going to be counting how many babies we made and left to spiritually starve while we were busy focusing on making more. He’s going to be counting how many members of our churches grew up to full maturity and produced the spiritual fruits: love, joy, peace, goodness, gentleness, etc.

If you’re called to be a pastor or a teacher, your primary job isn’t to make new disciples. Your primary job is to train your existing disciples with the preaching of God’s word, to be their human coach as the grace of God flows through you to change those he’s already entrusted to you from sinners into saints. If you truly feel God’s call to be a full time evangelist, and you’re holding a pastoral or teaching position in (or out of) a church,  step aside so someone can raise your babies properly and take your good news out to the folks it is intended for, by any means but making everyone eat an exclusive diet of gospel-seed and milk.

If you’re laity, and you wish your leaders would read this, or you know you are not a doctrinal good fit within your local body, don’t wait for them to see things your way or to start feeding you properly and don’t ignore the disunity. Go find a church properly focused on discipleship who you feel you can trust to teach you right, if you’re sure it’s  your current body that’s in error and not you.

Continue reading Unity: “To be in Harmony and in Agreement” »

Christians Known By Love, But Defined by Truth

  • Posted on October 28, 2011 at 1:26 pm

“for “All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever.” And this word is the good news that was preached to you.” (1 Peter 1:24-25)

An internet meme asserts that Jesus said Christians will be known by their love, not by their doctrine. Even pastoral sermons can fall into this trap. Yes, trap.

The problem with this meme is two fold. One, it presents a false dichotomy, pitting love and truth against each other. The scriptures on Christian love are a vital part of sound doctrine. You don’t have sound doctrine if you don’t have sincere Christian love. Secondly, the idea that you can have true Christian love without sound doctrine is a lie based on cherry picking scriptures, taking them out of their context as our verse of the day does. Verses 22-23 read:

2Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love,  love one another earnestly from a pure heart,  since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God;

So after asserting we are to be holy (verse 15) and we are told the sincere love we are to be known by is a product (fruit) of being purified of sin through obedience to the truth. Christian love comes from a pure heart, of being born again through the imperishable seed of the Word. It is in that context we are reminded that, though our lives in the corrupt sinful fallen bodies of the present are like grass and fading, the word of the Lord remains forever.

Further this, according to Peter, is the very gospel itself, the good news that the apostles preached and that authentic Christianity still preaches to this day. Not love above truth at any cost, as some false teachers espouse, but rather love born of truth and eternal life itself from being born again of the truth, by faith, through God’s grace at work in us, not of our own efforts, lest any boast.

Christ our Lord said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life” not “I am the Love.” Yes, we are known by our love, but we are defined by the truth. Our love binds us to Christ and one another, and it is certain that we don’t even know what love is until we stand at the foot of his cross where God’s love sent his son to die for traitors. But it is the truth that sets us free from the bondage of sin, which is what divides us and creates bitterness, anger, malice, confusion, selfishness, and all manner of unloving behavior. It is equally crucial to have true doctrine and sincere love for God and one another. Truth and Love are conjoined twins. Damage to the one inevitably impacts the other.

The most grave damage from divorcing love from truth is that, to be consistent, one must claim the Apostles who wrote the bulk of the New Testament, and preached “love one another,” were themselves judgmental hate mongers. In the pages of scripture, the apostles thrash Christian sects whose doctrine differs with their own, denouncing the adherents as heretics and the leaders as false teachers leading people astray from God. Paul encourages us to imitate him, even, and makes no exception for his combative defense of sound doctrine.

Per the world’s definition of love, we must conclude the apostles were wrong to judge the very salvation of those who disagreed with their doctrines. Instead of fighting with these “false teachers” and their followers, they should have done as we do and embraced them as saved fellow Christians who loved Christ as much as they did and simply had different views on scripture than the apostles.

Students of history will be aware the Church has long disobeyed the apostles’ doctrine and murdered each other over disputable matters. The definition of love in reaction to this evil, however, shows its own demonic origins by subtly standing in judgment against the very bible those taken captive by this lie claim their love and faith are based on. It is double-minded inconsistency to embrace the authority of the apostles to write scripture on one side of the mouth and on the other stand in judgment against those God appoints today as defenders of the faith and promoters of the spread of the apostles’ soul-saving doctrine.

Lord, give us wisdom to know your truth and discern the error that tugs on our ears and sounds so good. Give us a desire to grow in holiness and sound doctrine as well as the love and grace and forgiveness that spring up from maturing in the truth. Prick our hearts with conviction when we detach the flower of love from the vine of truth, for blooms detached from their roots quickly die and fade away, and branches that do not flower and bear fruit will be cut off and burned. Either way, keep us safe and growing in you. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

Continue reading Christians Known By Love, But Defined by Truth »

Face it: By nature, we’re all “those carnal Christians.”

  • Posted on September 28, 2011 at 11:49 am

“The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.” (1 Corinthians 2:14)

It is so easy to read this verse and think about all of “those people” who don’t understand the things of God, or rather who call our own doctrinal beliefs, personal convictions, and religious practices silly or flat out wrong. But I believe the Holy Spirit today is redirecting us from “those people” to “us people.”

We each have a body. We live in sinful, broken, corrupt flesh, in an equally sinful, broken, corrupt culture. By default, all of us reason according to those forces. If we don’t train ourselves to do otherwise, we will even read the bible through the distorting lens of our cultural and personal experiences.

Yes, us people have a “natural person.” We do also have a “spiritual person,” but we’re better acquainted with the easier-to-see natural person. That is, after all, who we are according to our upbringings at the hands of broken people, damage from our fallen environment, and our DNA, which often contains coding errors. Our spirit’s condition was so bad, we all require a spirit transplant from Jesus, and have already received it if we are of his body.

Brothers and Sisters and fellow transplant recipients, humility compels us to realize we all still live in “natural person” bodies on this earth.  Don’t shove him in a closet and pretend he’s not there. If not watched carefully, he influences how “us spiritual persons” understand spiritual things. He leads us to reject spiritual callings as being ungodly folly in our understanding. At the same time, he leads us to flip ungodly ways into holy ways and causes us to misidentify worldly wisdom as spiritual wisdom. Let us have true spiritual discernment today and seek true wisdom from God, with hearts open to receive from him.

Lord, we confess the weakness of our flesh. We have at times confused natural wisdom for spiritual wisdom and let how we are broken define us. Show us, Lord, in the spirit, who we really are in you. Strengthen us in the here and now to be more like the person your eternal eyes already see as we spiritually gestate and await our births into eternity. Open our eyes to the truth of who you made us to be. Please vanquish any corrupt desire that is preventing us from receiving true spiritual wisdom from you. We trust in you. In Jesus name we pray, amen.

Continue reading Face it: By nature, we’re all “those carnal Christians.” »

A loving God and a fool’s hellish choice

  • Posted on May 26, 2011 at 8:02 pm

“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” (John 3:17)

The most famous passage in the bible, John 3:15-18,  tells us Christ was lifted up on the cross so all who believe in him would have eternal life, that God loved us so much, he gave us his only son so that no one who believes in Christ should perish. Today’s verse asserts at this point that God’s goal was not to condemn everyone else, but to save the world.  Verse eighteen adds sadly, however, that those who freely choose not to believe in Christ, to not accept the offer of salvation he extends to everyone, is condemned already and choosing to remain condemned rather than accept an offer of pardon.

What would we say of a governor who offered a pardon to a prisoner with no expectation of reform? Would we call an earthly king loving for releasing into his kingdom a person who had make it clear such had no intentions of being a productive, law-abiding citizen? Mind, God’s done all the work for us even.

So, on the judgment day, those “sent” to hell are going where they chose to go. They have condemned themselves and why?  Because they loved their sin more than they desired a pain-free, joyful eternity in the presence of God, who forbid them from taking their pet into his kingdom.

Tell me,  what kind of offenders facing a death sentence are offered a pardon, but say no, they like their old life of crime too much to receive a pardon and live? A stiff-necked fool.

Let us not be so foolish, we who trust and believe in him.

We thank you, Lord, that you came not to condemn, but to save. Search our hearts, be there any wicked way in us? If we have pet sins in our lives we need to surrender and leave behind, show us. Strengthen us to love you more. Open our eyes to the truth and set us free from the chains that bind us. Season our tongues, Lord, so we might also be of a mind to seek not to condemn those who already are, but to gently show them the way to salvation. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

Continue reading A loving God and a fool’s hellish choice »

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