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Body Upgrades Available

  • Posted on December 7, 2011 at 6:58 pm

If someone was selling a body upgrade, would you be interested?

Psst. I know a guy who’s offering them, he happens to be the guy who programmed the actual reality that we live in, including us natural intelligences he has designed to be sentient and have personalities and feelings and creative abilities and, well, to be alive like he is. He made the original pair of natural intelligences as administrators who report to him. An ex-employee fired for being uppity abused the way he designed us, convincing our ancestors to download a bunch of junk that corrupted both of our parent programs, causing their bodies to break down and them to not function as originally designed, and we inherit this corruption from them. We’re so important in actual reality, because of this, our whole actual reality is slowly descending into a serious meltdown. So the programmer has started work on an upgrade, which he promises to release as soon as he’s satisfied everyone has had a chance to hear the news and agree to take part in the upgrade and be transferred over.

Actual Reality’s programmer has not told us much about what exactly our new bodies will look like, but he provided a sneak preview, having already upgraded his only son, and no one tries anything on their own beloved kid that isn’t safe. Plus this guy has made full disclosure about himself, so a few things we can know about his new product, based on who he is and what we know about his current product (and what he has identified as being the junk):

 

• Your new body will be absolutely flawless, perfectly fashioned in every way.

• It will never break down. It will never grow old, it will never waste away, it will never cease working and turn to dust.

• Your new body will probably have the same basic DNA as your current DNA, which partially defines you who you are. Your new body will probably come loaded with the data you’ve saved to your current body, including the nervous system and muscular-skeletal systems, but likely your customizations to your actual reality outward appearance will be nontransferable.

• All of the junk code and junk data that is corrupting you, causing you to break down and die, and preventing you from being who the programmer intended you to be will be deleted in the upgrade. The more junk you have, the less in sync you are with You 2.0.

The junk files scheduled for deletion are all in the contract. The programmer advises you to carefully read the contract and be sure you understand it before you give your consent. While you will be charged nothing for your upgrade to You 2.0 and no assembly is required, contrary to popular rumor, he does have some terms and conditions that you should be aware of:

• You will still be a natural intelligence and merely made to be like our Programmer, not an actual Programmer yourself or even the equal of our Programmer. You will not get to be your own Programmer and write your own code. Sorry. In our programmer’s reality, the ex-employee who started that rumor is a con artist running his racket from a prison cell.

• You must accept no substitutions for our Programmer, including yourself, other natural intelligences, and the programmer deniers’ illogical claims actual reality programmed and built itself using some of the junk destroying actual reality. If you die while in violation of this term of your contract with the Programmer, or dispute what constitutes junk and demand the right to hang onto yours, you will be deleted with your junk. This will result in you remaining consciously aware in our Programmer’s recycle bin, forever cut off from him and everyone else.

• You 2.0 will not be prone to develop any programming errors.

• You 2.0 will love and trust your programmer fully and do what he says gladly, out of a grateful heart devoted to him.

• Your new body will be heterosexual (possibly asexual, depending on how you read his contract’s terms and conditions) and the same gender as your current genetic code, your body will properly develop as your actual gender, and your new brain will be on the same page as your new body and your upgraded genetic code on what gender you are.

• Your new body won’t have mental disorders, learning disabilities, physical disabilities, ADHD, autism, depression, emotional disturbances, or addictive tendencies.

• In your new body, you will hate lying and would never steal, kill, or destroy anything. You won’t be selfish or proud or rude or easily angered. You will be truthful, loving, joyful, hopeful, peaceful, good, humble, generous, respectful, self-controlled, you won’t be prone to think evil of others, you won’t dwell on past wrongs, and you will be the sort of person who naturally places the interests of others first, and so will everyone else. You will also be loyal, dependable, responsible, stable, unafraid, single-minded, and keep all of your promises and commitments to others.

• In your new body, you will have a face to face relationship with your programmer, know him intimately, and be with him always.

• Your old body must die in this actual reality and return to dust before you will be loaded in your new body in the upgraded reality.

• The programmer gets to decide when it’s time for you to die.

• In the meantime, if you accept his contract, terms and conditions and all, as a guarantee of his promised upgrade to this new body, he connects your current one directly to him, so he can speak into your heart and breath the essence of who you will be in upgraded reality into you now. You will slowly become more like You 2.0 in this life and will hate the junk in your corrupt body and seek to be rid of it, long to be at minimum.

• If you do not experience any change in you, double check to ensure you have accepted a genuine copy of the contract. A genuine contract with the programmer includes a line on which you must declare you are acknowledging the programmer’s authority over you. Please do not bother to sign up unless you sincerely do respect the programmer’s authority over you and are willing to be upgraded however he sees fit.

• The programmer has put his son in charge of running both actual reality and upgraded reality. To be upgraded and have a relationship with the Programmer, we must have a relationship with his son, a legit natural intelligence like us, only uncorrupted and is also an actual reality exact representation of his Father. The son was instrumental in the original programming of actual reality and only the son is holding it together. Oh yeah, in order to pay the costs for this upgrade and make it all possible, the programmer’s son, who is known as Jesus Christ in English, also gave his actual reality life on a Roman cross, roughly 2,000 years ago in actual reality time, and rose again the third day.


Continue reading Body Upgrades Available »

Is Christianity “All About Relationship?”

  • Posted on December 6, 2011 at 11:05 am

“I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.” (John 10:14-15)
How close do you suppose the Father and the Son are? How well do they know each other? That is how well Christ knows his sheep and how well he desires us to know him.  His chief end is indeed an intimate, close relationship with us. Trouble is, so often, professing Christians don’t know him well enough to understand what a good relationship between us and God looks like to him. We don’t read his word carefully to discover where his boundaries are and what his expectations for his relationship with us are. Instead of trusting the Good Shepherd and responding to his sacrificial, loving care with submission in return, we listen to wolves in sheep’s clothing who tell us whatever we want to hear is acceptable to God. We follow after them and stray from the Good Shepherd, who was perfectly obedient to his Father’s will.

But His sheep know his voice, we know his character. We read his word, we know what his values are and how he says he designed us, what he says  he made us to be. Many of us have had false shepherds, people in our lives who devour their flocks and warp our minds, some even use scripture.

The good shepherd keeps his own in his hands.He lays his life down for the sheep. He will protect us from predators in sheep’s clothing and from the unseen predators in the shadows and he will heal the sickness of the flesh known as sin. Let us trustingly submit to the Good Shepherd’s care today. If he places his little lambs into our care, let us imitate our Good Shepherd in relation to them.

Lord, grant all of us reading this ears to hear your voice, and discerning hearts that know you and what is of you and what is not of you. Heal our  hearts and minds and spirits of the ravages of sin and wolves who seek to steal your sheep and devour us. Reveal your truth to us and strengthen us to walk in the light. In Jesus’ name we pray, Lord, amen.

Continue reading Is Christianity “All About Relationship?” »

Is Prophecy a Dry Well?

  • Posted on December 2, 2011 at 11:27 pm

“ Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world.” (Hebrews 1:1-2)

For many believers, this is an indication that prophecy has ceased already, thinking that since Jesus is the word and the written word’s cannon is finalized, that God no longer needs to speak to prophets to instruct them to write scripture. This evidently assumes that the only words the prophets ever spoke are recorded in the scriptures and that recording the scriptures was the sole goal of prophecy. If I am understanding the reasoning correctly, though, scripture itself indicates this isn’t true. Besides the prophesies torn up and burned and given again, prophets also mention having received revelations from God that he told them to shut up and not share with others. Some of these prophesies  may be given again in the last days; and like all prophesies, their validity will be able to be shown by whether their theology lines up with the Bible’s.

What then does this mean? First, the author of Hebrews is laying out a Christology; he portrays Jesus as being the messiah, God’s anointed one, in all three Hebrew senses: as God’s Prophet and the Great High Priest as well as King Forever. Since the “prophet” in this case is God’s own son, and he has “spoken to us” this is if anything suggesting that God the Son speaks to his people directly rather than through human prophets, though this itself is technically still prophecy since Jesus is God and not here with us face to face.

Also keep in mind that, if Jesus is being lifted up as being Messiah in the sense of Prophet as well as Priest and King, if the text implies he only speaks to us one way–through the bible–that also means that you can only read it once rather than many times. That is absurd, just as putting God in a box and limiting the ways that an omnipotent deity can speak to us is absurd. The bible is still supreme; it is the standard against which we test all else for accuracy. The Son will never say anything that contradicts the written word of God.

Rather than taking away the gift of prophecy in these last days, as the bible says, he  pours out on his whole church the spirit that in former times only the prophets enjoyed. Rather than the well running dry, its streams of living water are available to all Christians, not merely those called to one of the five positions of leadership in the Church; though in my experience, only the nuts  want to openly bear the prophet’s mantle these days, at least I am not aware of any theologically sound churches that maintain the quite biblical office of the prophet, recognize, and ordain those God calls.

Perhaps we need to re-examine what prophets were about in the scriptures.

Regardless, beloved one thing I know, if you’re reading this, God has probably led you here, and he wants you to turn off all distractions and get alone with him. This time, when you’re done talking to him, take your turn at doing the listening.

 

Continue reading Is Prophecy a Dry Well? »

What I am Thankful For

  • Posted on November 25, 2011 at 3:24 pm

This year, I am thankful for something quite odd in today’s culture. I am thankful for a God who is, without apology, jealous and controlling.

Yes, I am thankful for a God who demands absolute loyalty and obedience from his servants and children, a God who is intolerant of anyone seeking to rival him in his glory, especially in terms of power over others, or even over ourselves.  I am thankful for a God who is a perfectionist in the extreme, allowing not the slightest spot, blemish, wrinkle, or stain into his spiritual presence in Heaven.

I am thankful for a God who has decreed a death penalty for any and all infractions of his law without exception, who cannot be moved to change his mind and change the rules based upon an emotional appeal to hard circumstances, but always carries out his decrees. I am thankful for an obstinate God who never changes his ways, never changes who he is and what he believes, never waivers on what he hates and what he loves, for any reason.

I am thankful because this God is just, reliable, trustworthy, and dependable, powerful enough and willing to protect us from harm and avenge us of wrongs.

I am also thankful this God looked down on a world that hates him for all of the above things that I would praise him for, saw that this world was full of everything that he hates, saw that we were hopelessly unable to ever measure up to his standards, all of us condemned to die and that our spirits, though designed to dwell in a body of flesh and to be in his presence, would be left disembodied and spiritually separated from his presence for all eternity.

I am thankful that this god so loathed by the world, so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son to pay the penalty of our sin and die in our place, so that we could be washed clean of our sin and purified in his blood. I am thankful he sent his Holy Spirit to dwell in us, so we can learn to walk in his way rather than continue to follow after the corruption of the mortal flesh we will trade one fine day for new, immortal, sinless and flawless bodies worthy to be with Him.

I am thankful that my God is both simultaneously a Just, Jealous, Holy, Unwavering, Unmovable, Unshakable, Authoritarian King of Kings and a Loving, Merciful, Good, Gracious, Patient, Gentle, Humble Savior and Redeemer.

I am thankful that the power of sin has already been defeated on the Cross and that it is only a matter of time before this long cosmic war is over and the last battle fought. I am thankful that, by grace, through faith alone,  I can stand with the Creator of the Universe in the battle against sin and overcome rather than rebel, wallow in sin, and find myself cast out with the Lawless One. I am thankful that God has begun a good work of eradicating sin and imperfection in me and that he will continue to carry out his work in me until the day of His Coming.

I am thankful even us rebels who have betrayed our Heavenly citizenship again and again, going the way of the enemy culture all around us, can always  humbly bow our knees to the King of Kings and be reconciled to him and forgiven.

Continue reading What I am Thankful For »

An Open Letter to Father God’s Rebellious Sons

  • Posted on November 22, 2011 at 10:47 am

Little children, I long to extend grace and mercy to you, but to receive it, you must humbly acknowledge you need it, as the prodigal son did. Why will you go to your grave, at odds with the Lord, to burn for all eternity in your own wrath at him for daring to tell you what to do, still insisting that he was wrong and you were right? Agree quickly with the Lord on the way to Christ’s judgment seat, why should you die in your sin when forgiveness is plentiful and free?

Look at the machines we have made. What computer program would dare say to its coder, “You have coded me wrong. I will ignore your instructions and do what is right in my own eyes”? Would it not be contemptuous, self-righteous, and arrogant of that program? Would we not judge it as being buggy and broken and in need of either repair or to be thrown away and replaced?

Yet that is what we have done and said to our Father and maker.

Who among us would say to a woman being abused that she should change who she is, deny her character and alter her personality and what she believes and loathes to please the will of a controlling person who will not love her for who she is, only what he wants her to be? Yet that is how we treat God, expecting him to change who he is or we will reject him.

Do you ask, “when have I rejected God?” By rejecting how he designed us to operate, which is but an outgrowth of and reflection of his very nature.

?”But Christ told me that he values a relationship with me more than his rules and acknowledged to me that my way was better.” Little one, that was a demon who hates you and wants to destroy you and leave you eternally at odds with God. It is written clearly, “I the Lord do not change. My ways are higher than your ways,  and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Think, child, what created thing is more knowledgeable and knows better than its creator? God’s word is eternal, it never changes and it is never void (empty and unfulfilled.) Truth is not a relative, nebulous concept that changes with the times. Truth is a person, and one of his traits is being steadfast, stable, and sure. He never changes. Jesus Christ is the Truth and he is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Look again at your machines and how quickly you would cast judgment and either bend it to your will and or destroy it, but God has been slow to wrath and patient, giving you undeserved blessings and benefits, to show you he is worthy of the trusting obedience and faith that our computers mistakenly have in us. He even sent his own son to pay the penalty for our wrongdoing and enable us to be reconciled to him and function again as he designed us to. Unlike us with our creations, our creator gives us a choice between a system-wide restoration to our original manufacturing settings, or to continue to be good only for the trash.

Let us choose then this day to not be foolish and contend with our maker, but confess our sin, humbly ask his forgiveness and, being reconciled to the Lord our God and Father in spirit and in truth, acknowledge him in all of our ways and honor him as the righteous king over all the Earth.

Continue reading An Open Letter to Father God’s Rebellious Sons »

Unity: “To be in Harmony and in Agreement”

  • Posted on November 18, 2011 at 12:23 pm

“Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.” (John 17:17)

This comes in the middle of the Lord’s prayer . . . in the garden of Gethsemane. The part most of my pastors have focused on is where he prays for unity. I’ve seen plenty of churches’ pastoral staff water down the truth and ignore doctrinal disunity in the name of unity. We seem to think being one means ‘the more the merrier!” Uh, no, it means those who are in your pews being of one mind and in one accord. We can’t have that unless everyone in the local body is functioning together, each using their individual gifts and natural abilities towards the same goals, which should include, biblically, for us all to grow to be more like Christ and worshiping him in Spirit and in Truth.

I think part of this comes from a common misunderstanding that the Church is all about making spiritual babies. No, evangelism is all about making babies, and for that Jesus sent his disciples out from where he gathered them together to teach them. Did he stop others who didn’t follow him from showing up when he sat down to teach his own? No, but he didn’t modify his message to appeal to them, he kept his focus on the spiritual babies he already had in his care to raise. In fact, he deliberately spoke in confusing parables when the crowds gathered around–exact opposite of what many churches do today.

Maybe that’s why we’re growing fat in numbers, but most of us aren’t growing up in the Lord, but rather still messing in our diapers. Brothers and sisters, on the judgment day, God’s not going to be counting how many babies we made and left to spiritually starve while we were busy focusing on making more. He’s going to be counting how many members of our churches grew up to full maturity and produced the spiritual fruits: love, joy, peace, goodness, gentleness, etc.

If you’re called to be a pastor or a teacher, your primary job isn’t to make new disciples. Your primary job is to train your existing disciples with the preaching of God’s word, to be their human coach as the grace of God flows through you to change those he’s already entrusted to you from sinners into saints. If you truly feel God’s call to be a full time evangelist, and you’re holding a pastoral or teaching position in (or out of) a church,  step aside so someone can raise your babies properly and take your good news out to the folks it is intended for, by any means but making everyone eat an exclusive diet of gospel-seed and milk.

If you’re laity, and you wish your leaders would read this, or you know you are not a doctrinal good fit within your local body, don’t wait for them to see things your way or to start feeding you properly and don’t ignore the disunity. Go find a church properly focused on discipleship who you feel you can trust to teach you right, if you’re sure it’s  your current body that’s in error and not you.

Continue reading Unity: “To be in Harmony and in Agreement” »

Need to Know the Time? Ask God.

  • Posted on November 1, 2011 at 11:14 am

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:  a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to  keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

Would that we knew the seasons of life! How many of us have stumbled and fell because we could not discern whether it was time to speak or time to keep silence, time to love, or time to hate, time to heal, or time to break down, time to keep, or time to cast away? If you’re like me, you may even have such a hard time discerning the times, the medical profession would like to diagnose and treat you for it, if they haven’t already.

We struggle in the flesh. The world is a mighty confusing, overwhelming place, if we’re impaired at discerning what is socially and professionally appropriate in a given moment. While doctors can help, we have another resource to draw upon.

Today let’s remember to be still and seek the Lord for supernatural discernment, and ask him to reveal what the time and the season is. If we can master any impulsive tendencies we have, if we can discipline ourselves to seek his face, knowing in faith if we seek we will find and when we are weak, he is strong, then our spirit walk can begin to look like we’re naturals.

If we ever get there, let us remember to thank him and be ready to profess openly our weakness and who is strong in us and enables us to walk so wisely.

Lord, we confess we are weak and so easily confused as to what deserves our time and attention. Deliver us from the folly of the flesh, enable us to stop and seek your face. Give us spiritual wisdom to know what the season and what it is time for in every moment. Draw us into a closer walk with you today. Guide our every step and give us the right words. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

Continue reading Need to Know the Time? Ask God. »

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